How Toxic Femininity Informs Women's Fashion

Toxic femininity: this is a term that I have heard frequently, but only understood in part until I started thinking really seriously about how it shapes contemporary women, including myself. Generalizing, toxic femininity refers to the societal expectations of female performance, forcing women into traditional feminine expressions primarily to the benefit of males and/or to fit the traditional notion of being female. And that's not where it ends. The most obvious example is in women's fashion, which dictates time and again for women the way they are "supposed" to dress.

The Paradox of Fashion Expectations

In today’s world, women’s fashion is caught in a frustrating double bind. Wear a dress or skirt—traditionally feminine attire—and it’s assumed you’re dressing to cater to male approval or conforming to societal standards. Opt for more masculine clothing, and you’re criticized for failing to meet expectations of how a woman “should” look.

No matter what women wear, the criticism comes from all sides.

Making this even more convoluted is the assumption that a woman is dressing solely for how she hopes men will view her. This simplification of her desires greatly reduces the deeply personal and myriad reasons women choose to dress in the manner they do. Some women like to dress modestly, while others should wear body-hugging or revealing clothing because it displays their confidence and personality. Sometimes it isn't even about the men-it's about the person expressing themselves.

The Case of Billie Eilish

Billie Eilish is a gorgeous example of this toxic attitude in practice. Known for oversized, baggy clothes and bright colors, Billie Eilish has received both praise and trashing for shunning all things "girly" fashion.

She was featured on the covers of British Vogue in 2021, sporting blonde hair, a pink corset, and a skin-hugging skirt. Some nodded in approval that she was sporting the more feminine look; still, others almost immediately branded her a "sellout" for further developing into that look in accordance with the better judgment of societal expectations on beauty. Those very same people who had harangued her initially for not dressing "hotter" were now condemnable with being "boring," "mainstream."

Eilish reflected on that kind of double standard, arguing that no matter what she wore—whether in signature style or something a bit more traditionally feminine—there is always backlash directed her way. Her experience shows how the society punishes women regardless of choices, leading them into an impossible situation.

The Problem With Fashion Policing

Toxically feminine, it does more than strangle the choices of women; it kills the expression of identity through style. The real problem is based on the idea of affirming how women would wish to be perceived by men through female apparel. That dangerous idea, brewed in internalized misogyny, defines acceptability in fashion and closes it down.

In fact, the truth is so much more liberating: a woman's outfit is not a message to men; it is saying something about her as an individual. When we look at fashion through that perspective, we might start to celebrate personal style rather than judge it for not conforming to archaic standards.

Breaking the Cycle

As we move forward, we must challenge these poisonous ideas. We should come to see fashion as art, a form by which women express themselves and not as a means of substantiating societal or gendered expectations.

After all, it is so yesterday's season to cling to outdated style rules.